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I FOLLOW ALL OF MY FOLLOWERS. it's not a regular thing. Im 15. Emotional. Insane. And just wanna type.

Tuesday, 31 May 2011

this really is a pisstake.

I just dont understand how you can be like this! since when have you been like this towards me?! All because he's in the picture everything changes and you're a whole another person.

they way your being makes me sick to my stomach, you call this happiness. its all delusional. why can't you see whats right or wrong thats right infront of you. The sound of the voice that angers me so. and you know it does. yet you do nothing to stop it. 'what can i do'. the same old excuses.

just for the slightest piece of freedom I need to wait 12 days. Why did you have to go for so long, you're the only one who kept me sane from this shitty situation. But everything is going to change. and you're going to leave. and ill have no one to turn to.

this whole thing just pisses me of. they may say let it go, but you got to be angry so why cant i be too.

i want to get away from this. im not speaking suicidal i mean thats just ridiculous but this needs to go away.

Why cant i just get rid of this anger?!

why is it so hard to let go..

CHANGE

WOAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

 everythings changing! kinda scary! i mean my mother acutally said i have to grow up now :| is she freaking kidding me?!

 i mean first of all my sisters getting married, i mean okay whatever i know i have to clean more but yeah (asian thing) next thing you know BAM! next year my brothers getting married i mean woaaaaah! MIND FUCK. its flipping crazy, but on the plus side i get a freaking sister in law! weirdddddddd! so, thought id blog that on the courtesy of my soul mate. Cory.

CHOWDER.

blahhhh emotions.

Blog.


I'm hurt and it's not okay. it's hard to forgive something that has nothing good about it. growing up with this hatred around me seems normal but when it comes to forgiving and forgetting I don't understand how it can be done so easily. the weight on my chest gets heavier and taking a deep breath just isn't easy anyone. you don't get the relief you hope for. why is it so easy for others to forgive, don't they feel the same hatred as I do considering it's come from them. can love really overpower it? I just don't feel that anymore. any shred of it has been distorted by disappointment and failure. 

they say money cant buy happiness. yet when it's taken from so you brutally and your left with nothing and still they never learn from their mistakes I don't know how they can live with that.  it's like living with a fish you'll feed and sometimes clean it but it has no importance and is not necessary and you waste money and time on it then what's the point?! how can the love be there when you've been hurt so badly? 

thoughts from CHOWDER